mil-spouse, military, Military families, National Guard

Excuses only go so far…..

Its been going around today so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon, since apparently that’s what I’m doing these days *wink wink*.  Two other wonderful articles I read concerned the National Guard spouse who got the media involved in her lack of an R&R were on Spouse Buzz and Army Wife 101, and mine isn’t as good as theirs.  But, what’s a blog for if it isn’t for expressing ones own feelings and venting out some annoyance.  I have been a National Guard gf/fiance/Spouse (of various standing – Active Duty for almost the whole time) for 10 years.  I have never lived on or near a base until about six months ago.   I’ve never been to an FRG meeting, or had a pre-deployment briefing or meeting, or post deployment anything.  I learned right away that the military is in charge when my wedding occurred four months later than I wanted (Yup I moved around a good ‘ole fashioned white wedding for the military).  My husband was basically my only guide and example for about four years before I really became close with any fellow mil-spouses, and they weren’t close to me anyway (distance wise).  He set the example for me.  He explained things to me, and helped me through when I was frustrated with the change.  I quickly learned that was the plan in the military.  The plane WAS change.  It became a joke in our house, humor to deal with the insanity.  I’m not a betting woman, but I would lay a whole lot of money down on the fact that many military families cope with life in this same way.  The military is the mistress, the other woman, and so on and so on.  Taking this military life became really important to me and I experienced a lot of things most younger and new spouses did not experience and quickly became a senior spouse because of experience.

Another thing I came to realize is that though my husband is not alone, a lot of husbands don’t convey the importance of things properly to their wives.  There are a lot of amazing husband and wives, and girl friends and fiance’s out there that do.  I know I’m not alone, and I know there would be another girl/guy out there that would totally understand what I’m saying when I say, “I may not get to wear his rank, nor do I deserve it, but its just as important to me as if it was mine.”  His career is important to me, and being insanely involved with my husband and understanding the in’s and out’s has been one of my ways of coping.

Now that I’ve blathered on and on, let me get to the point.  The point of this is the National Guard spouse in question. If you haven’t already seen or read the article you can go here and check it out yourself.  Personally I’m wondering more about her husband than I am her, although I am definitely questioning her actions 100%.  Something wasn’t talked about.  Something wasn’t explained.  I wonder also about this feeling of entitlement that I feel like may or may not be occurring in this situation.  The military won’t even guarantee your husband home for your child’s birth, so I’m pretty sure an R&R doesn’t rank up there in the Things To Do category.  But I also question her need to rush to the media?  Did she do this on her own?  I mean, did she just get so incensed, and without checking on things that figuring out what’s what, she just immediately went there with it?  Did she not consider what may happen to her husband when its seen that she’s talking like she is and demanding apologies not just from the Army, but from the Pentagon?  Really?  I get that she may be uneducated and far away from support, but so are lots of people that go through crud that don’t do this.  Common sense has to come into play at some point.  I feel bad for her, I feel bad for her kid.  It’s sad.  My kids have been through a lot of disappointment, but I explain to them in an adult way and I talk about what an honor it is to sacrifice for their country.  Sure I’m real and we say it totally sucks that daddy isn’t here.  I don’t live life looking through rose colored glasses, but I try to make life as rosy as I can for the kids.

I guess that’s my point really, in these last few words that I say.  I get it, and you’re not alone, but I feel like excuses only get you so far.

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