Faced with more time separated from my Airman I began noticing patterns in my behavior. My extreme highs and lows are finally under semi-control. What I can tell you about that is if you are at all feeling even the slightest bit out of control, if you decide to be truly honest with yourself, get help. There’s no shame in it. This life is hard enough without feeling extra out of control. But I’ve noticed I go along a specific pattern each time. The first week or two is spent keeping myself ridiciulously busy. On any given day you can find me cleaning, organizing, throwing/give away bags and bags of junk. I might even make a trip or two to Ikea in an effort to please my Deployment OCD self. Each time he leaves this is my pattern. No matter the length of trip and each time he goes this is what I do. The next week or two is spent not sleeping, which inevitably leads to me becoming sick. I’ve become too busy taking care of everything and everyone but myself, no wonder I get sick. My body be like, “woman, slow down!!! Do I have to make you sick to slow you down because I’ll do it!” And it does, so there you go.
Do you do the same thing? How do you stop yourself for heading down the wrong path when you are by yourself?