While we all know reintegration can sometimes be the opposite of easy, there are things that you can mentally prepare for that will make the transition as easy as possible. We recently had what felt like our one-millionth reintegration and this time around I’ve had several people ask me how we do it when he comes home. Fortunately for us Mr. Air Force and I have had a ton of experience at this, but we weren’t always this awesome at it. And while most of my advice in this particular post centers around family, reintegration without kids can be tricky in its own right. A lot of the stories and advice work for both situations.
Reintegration is tough, ask any MilSpouse. I’ve found myself struggling with making sure I find the balance between letting them feel like they are a part of the family directly and not putting too much pressure on them. For the spouse that has been at home, me, I’ve gotten into a routine. I’ve filled the role of both parents, of house fixer, boo boo kisser, bedtime story reader and all that other stuff that is usually split up between two people. I find myself taking over and doing things that he would normally do…or doing nothing in the hopes that he will step in and do it. Neither of which is probably fair for either one of us. I am a lucky girl though. I have a spouse who comes home and realizes that we’ve been going on without him, that I’ve been doing a lot, that the kids have chores and routines that he might have forgotten or not realized. He always asks how things are going, and what their chores and routines are. This is something that has evolved over our the years in our marriage, something we’ve really worked on. We’ve learned a lot over the last fourteen years and hopefully what we’ve experienced can help someone who reads this.
~ Anonymous MilSpouse~
photo credit: Gronde Photography
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