This time there was a change. I felt myself falling into a similar trap. One which I recognized as it was happening to me. This past week a couple things happened that caused me to step into those familiar traps. The “people-pleasing” part of me responded to something that was completely out of my control. I know that I can not change people or make people believe something if they don’t want to. Some people are just negative and chose to see bad over good right out of the gate. Resting in the fact that I know what I’m doing and have been doing is good and right is simply all I need to do. That, and just keep moving forward..proving that what I’m doing and feeling by keeping on do it just as I always have been.
Once one thing happens and you hear people have been questioning or talking negatively about you, it doesn’t take long for other negativity to sweep in. A not responded to email, text or message is all it takes to send one into an ugly wormwhole of worry, fear and rejection. Its an easy trap that I can fall into because of past experiences that severely traumatized me. But I conquered that with the help of some of my now bestest friends and my family. That, I think is one reason why I’m so quick to fall again. Old habits die hard I guess. So far so good though. Just taking some deep breaths, picking up my books, crocheting a baby blanket (which literally makes me squeal inside) and enjoying the time with my kids.