Deployment Dare: Patience is a Virtue
Separations and deployments are difficult, and for those of us that frequently endure such things it becomes difficult to figure out how to deal with each one. Life is forever changing, and my kids are always growing and entering new stages of life. This, alone, has been the one factor that has most affected how I deal with the separations that come my way. It is no longer about me and my emotions. I can’t simply waste the time simply reading and watching movies, going out with girlfriends or shopping. No, life has to for the most part continue on as normal. We must rise early in the morning, get ready for school, clean the house, cook, do laundry and change diapers. We must move forward and no time can really be spent wallowing away.
So, we must we must…..I’ve read the Love Dare before but apparently there is a military/deployment version. It’s a 40 Day dare and I’m excited to talk about each day with you all, sharing stories from my twelve years as a military s/o and 15 years with the man I now call hubby, or Mr. Air Force.
Day 1: Patience
This is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of a separation. Patience is a virtue, but whoa is it perhaps the most difficult one. There are so many emotions that occur during those first days, and patience isn’t the thing at the top of my list. When dealing with my emotions it is often my most deep and darkest one that I don’t display: Sadness. I miss him terribly when he’s gone. Those ridiculous bumper stickers that talk about how half your heart is gone. It’s true. Half my heart is gone, therefore mimicking a broken one. Have you ever stopped to think about that? It’s true isn’t it. In its most basic, and broken down explanation, a missing piece of a heart is basically a broken one. So let those real feelings come out, in a positive way. Talk about how much you love your missing half, tell them you love them. Don’t let those feelings of sadness come out in anger, which I know so often does with me. Truth be told I have been all set to have an “honest” conversation about something, but I fooled myself into thinking because it was an honest conversation that I was somehow doing something right. Maybe being honest about this thing would be a good idea in theory, but, in the midst of a separation stop and think, is it really the best thing to do? Is it perhaps an attempt to hurt them as they have hurt you, by leaving?