I’m taking a cue from my best gal Rebecca, over at What Rebecca Thinks, and choosing happiness over resolution for 2019. So much about 2018 was a little crazy and, like most people I tend to think about all the things I would change. What will I do differently this year? Will I lose weight, give up soda or stop biting my nails? Don’t get me wrong I am focused on starting 2019 on the right food and being intentional about what I want to do in the new year. The definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not do something.” But I want more than to just simply decide to do or not to do something. I want to choose happiness.

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The last several months of 2018 I have been reflecting on this phase of life that I’m currently in. My kids need different things from me. I won’t say they need less, it’s just different. They are older, bigger and capable of doing more on their own. They are all in school, go to be on their own and can even get up and make breakfast if I needed to get a little bit more sleep on the weekends. There is more time in my life to focus on me and guess what, there’s nothing wrong with that. So much of my identity, and that of many mothers is wrapped up in our kids. Getting married young and having kids young has made things different for me. I was growing up and still figuring things out as I was having babies. I still had a strong desire to do things, go places and accomplish things, whatever that meant. It’s the struggles that I think most twenty-something people go through. I always made a conscious choice to be as independent as possible, leave the kids with family or babysitters, date my husband and do things as much as I could. My life as a military spouse complicated a lot of things. Saying “No” is something that I had to do, and for the most part still, have to do a lot. Finding a new rhythm as the kids get older, making time to do things for me, traveling, making time for girlfriends and even going into DC for the day just because are just some of the things that I can do in 2019.

As a mom, we shouldn’t feel guilty for having tough days or wanting to do more than just take care of our kids. We also shouldn’t feel guilty for finding someone that we can safely talk to and express these exact feelings. We do more harm to ourselves by not acknowledging where we struggle, the feelings that we have and what we want to do with our lives. It doesn’t matter how many kids we have, whether we work or not, what kind of job we have, what our spouses do or whether or not we’ve lost all the “baby weight”. We should be free to have these feelings and thoughts. Its what we do with them after that matters.

So choose happiness, choose to be honest with yourself about what you’re going through and find the people that are going to help you get through it. Maybe, like me, you are entering a new and different season in life and unsure of how to proceed. It’s a weird feeling I know. A little unsure, a little crisis-like feeling mixed with guilt because you feel selfish. But we can do this moms!! We can get through this.

cheers to a new year full oh happiness and contentment