Faced with more time separated from my Airman I began noticing patterns in my behavior. My extreme highs and lows are finally under semi-control. What I can tell you about that is if you are at all feeling even the slightest bit out of control, if you decide to be truly honest with yourself, get help. There’s no shame in it. This life is hard enough without feeling extra out of control. But I’ve noticed I go along a specific pattern each time. The first week or two is spent keeping myself ridiciulously busy. On any given day you can find me cleaning, organizing, throwing/give away bags and bags of junk. I might even make a trip or two to Ikea in an effort to please my Deployment OCD self. Each time he leaves this is my pattern. No matter the length of trip and each time he goes this is what I do. The next week or two is spent not sleeping, which inevitably leads to me becoming sick. I’ve become too busy taking care of everything and everyone but myself, no wonder I get sick. My body be like, “woman, slow down!!! Do I have to make you sick to slow you down because I’ll do it!” And it does, so there you go.
Recognizing something and admiting it is a problem is the first step in recovery right? I mean, I realize in the grand scheme of things this isn’t a huge problem, or an addiction, but it is affecting me for sure. My body is telling me something, and whether I want to pay attention or not its going to do what it wants. And like most moms and women I never ask for help. I’m the first to offer it or give it (totally not tooting my own horn here, but you get what I mean), but asking for it is hard. Its almost as if I equate it with weakness, with not being able to handle all the things in my life I feel like I”m supposed to. But we are designed to have a help-mate, someone who stands by us and lifts us up. Mine just happens to not be here all the dang time. So I need to fill that in with people who clearly love and care about me, who offer help. I need to take it when its offerred. So after going back in my mind I’ve come up with a possible solution (or at least a new path to try) to the current cycle I go through.
1. Take it easy!
this has to be important! This time setst the tone for the entire separation (at least for me). Don’t try to organize or purge the whole house in the first week. Do leave the house every day, dragging your kids everywhere. Just be! Read a book, paint your nails, doing silly things with the kids. Get out that craft box and play! There are more fun and relaxing things to do that can keep you busy after they leave then things that will run down your body
2. Stay healthy!
While you can’t predict what horrible plague like death your child will bring home from school, you can do your part to stay healthy while you endure this separation. Keep up on those vitamins, echinacia or whatever! Get that coldeeze in there if you feel something going on. Eat healthy and find that time (see 1) to exercise. Leave the dishes in the sink and do a quick workout (find my favorite quick YouTube workouts here).
3. It’s okay to feel
Typically I like to mask my feelings. I know, so completely healthy right? Since I went so long without getting help, my emotions were crazy out of wack. So there is a part of me that wants to swing the pendulum the other way. Any emotion is bad emotion. It means I’m crazy and out of control. No way man!!! It’s okay to sad. Your parnter in crime is gone and you’re alone. This is for real and it sucks. This all goes back to number one. Keep busy so you don’t feel is my interpretaion of Keep Calm and Solider On; although I don’t think that’s what it means. It doesn’t say Keep Calm and shove your feelings so far down that eventually you crack!
Now its time to Keep Calm and Soldier On….I have to totally rewire my brain to follow a road less traveled. The one where I don’t freak out, stay healthy and enjoy some me time.
Do you do the same thing? How do you stop yourself for heading down the wrong path when you are by yourself?
**This is a sponsored post, brought to you by Simple Skin Care – reminding milspouses to remember to take some time for you and be encouraged….you are not alone. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I was given product to review and items to giveaway.
As I sit here in my hotel room, thinking about me and taking some time isn’t really high on my list. I had this whole thing planned out for this post. And then Murphy came to town. You know him, Murphy is feared by all MilSpouses. Its a joke but, for reals yo…..its real!! This last week we had some unexpected, emergency, repairs that needed to take place in our bathroom. The first fun part is that we only have one. The second fun part, and where the whole Murphy thing comes in, is the hubby is gone. Yup, he’s gone and won’t be back for a whole other week. So here I am, having our most recent move flash-backs (when we lived in a hotel for weeks!!) in a hotel room with my sweet precious children, trying to write a post about taking time for myself.
What I do know, is that even in the midst of upheavel, you can keep some things going that remind you of home. Keep as much of the routine as possible and that always makes transition easier. Coming from someone who has had to experience more than their fair share of “transitions”, that’s the golden rule right there. I had always been a fan of Simple Skin Care’s cleansing cloths, but thanks to Simple I’ve been able to try out their new moisterizer and eye make-up remover. Keeping a routine in taking care of me is important. That time at night where I’m going through the motions of taking off my make-up and washing my face is my moment to decompress. In one of my previous posts about skin-care you may have already read that Simple is a brand I alread love and recommend. I can safely say the same goes for these new products. The make-up remover is amazing! That has always been the hardest thing for me to find, a quality product that did leave an oily residue. Two thumbs up here. The moisterizer has also proven effective. It is light and airy, and it carries the Simple standard of clean and simple (hence the name). While I generally use moisturizers that have anti-aging qualities in them, this is a time fresh alternative for night time.
my view currently
So here I find myself, not really knowing how long we’ll be in the situation, making the most it. Taking some time for me currently consists of hiding under the covers after bedtime, with the my earphones in, watching Netflix…no judgement right?! *wink*
Thanks to the Simple Skin Care people I get to pass on a little joy by giving away a $25.00 Commissary gift card. So light a relaxing candle, open up your favorite book, put on a fuzzy robe and enter to win!!
For the last couple weeks I’ve been doing a hodge-podge of workouts trying to accomplish a couple things:
1) Move and get fit 2) satisfy my need for change – which I hadn’t fully realized until I started this 3) and a whole #healthyisthenewskinny mind frame
I want to be positive and confident in myself, but realistic of course. I have a lot of baby-weight that I’ve never lost, even from my oldest who is now seven. But realism goes both ways. I have to stop battling genetics and a little bit of reality. I have no desire to be ripped or obsessed with being thin and wanting a six-pack. I don’t want to spend hours every day obsessing and working out. Even at my smallest, dancing every practically every day, no soda drinking best self I wasn’t a stick. It’s just not the genetic body-type I was dealt. I don’t want to pass on those insecurities to my daughter. She doesn’t need to think about that stuff, and I don’t want her to. I’m not really sure when that when that set in because my parents never made me feel insecure, and my mom was never obsessed with her body. Whatever the reasons, that doesn’t need to be passed on to my daughter.
**A Quick PSA – this is in no way judgement on these models and whether or not they are healthy or unhealthy, or anyone that is super skinny or a size 0! This is about me**
What I don’t need to stare at
What I do need to look at
lindsay Miller and Crystal Renn
Catch me this Friday for my Fitness Friday recap on all my really cool workouts that I’ve been doing, and how I feel after two weeks!
Hi all! One of the sort of, kind of, resolutions I made this year was to write more personal posts. I think its easy to stray away from that in blogging. I really enjoyed writing about causes that are important to me, or products that I love; and in general I think that is something I will keep doing. Blogging is the best way to meet people that are sharing a similar circumstance as you. For me it is really difficult to talk about myself, which I think is one reason it has been so easy to stray from that here on this little piece of the internet. If I’m going through something I usually keep it in, which can be both good and bad. For me, mostly bad because I hold it too long until I finally explode in some way or another.
This time there was a change. I felt myself falling into a similar trap. One which I recognized as it was happening to me. This past week a couple things happened that caused me to step into those familiar traps. The “people-pleasing” part of me responded to something that was completely out of my control. I know that I can not change people or make people believe something if they don’t want to. Some people are just negative and chose to see bad over good right out of the gate. Resting in the fact that I know what I’m doing and have been doing is good and right is simply all I need to do. That, and just keep moving forward..proving that what I’m doing and feeling by keeping on do it just as I always have been.
Once one thing happens and you hear people have been questioning or talking negatively about you, it doesn’t take long for other negativity to sweep in. A not responded to email, text or message is all it takes to send one into an ugly wormwhole of worry, fear and rejection. Its an easy trap that I can fall into because of past experiences that severely traumatized me. But I conquered that with the help of some of my now bestest friends and my family. That, I think is one reason why I’m so quick to fall again. Old habits die hard I guess. So far so good though. Just taking some deep breaths, picking up my books, crocheting a baby blanket (which literally makes me squeal inside) and enjoying the time with my kids.
Anyone else experienced this in life? Do you have something similar that you go through, or are susceptible to?
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1. What do you value most in life?
I am so blessed to have so much in my life. My God, my Family, my Friends and my Country.
2. What do you think the greatest invention in your life is?
Oh my heavens! I have to say that facetime, skype and any of that new-fangled stuff that helps us stay in contact with Mr. Air Force when he’s off roaming around the countryside is pretty fantabulous! I am fortunate enough, I believe, to have been in two separate communication generations. I remember only having land lines to communicate with him, and letters and missing phone calls and being devastated. HAVING to look at pictures of him because it would be eight months before I literally saw him again. So blessed.
3. What do you think the secret to a good life is? The secret to a good life truly is with the company you keep. It truly is. Laughter and love, and embracing the little things are so important. I really have a hard times some time embracing the season that I’m in. Sometimes it can be really difficult; but the times that I do, it’s amazing.
4. what would you like to be remembered for when you are gone?
I would really hope and pray that I would be remembered as someone that was there for her family and friends. That I gave of myself to my church and my community. That I was patriotic. I think that is really what everyone hopes for.
5. What accomplishments in life are most proud of?
Definitely graduating from College, and doing it in four years. Teaching dance and a lot of my choreography I am really proud of. That was a big accomplishment for me. I am also really proud of where my blog has taken me and what it has allowed me to do and give back to my extended military family.
I am so excited to see what everyone else has to say! These were great questions this week. Thank you Ashley and Neely!!!